Sometimes doubt creeps into our lives, especially self-doubt. We lack confidence in ourselves and our abilities. We may struggle with feeling sure of our beliefs, attitudes, and choices. We may feel uncertain about the truth of our thoughts, beliefs, opinions, decisions – everything in our life. We may even question if we’re competent at anything in life, at all.
Self-doubt can be caused by a number of different reasons. I talk about some of these a lot. Comparing yourself to others, is one. You’ve heard me say this before. So often I find that people compare themselves to the best in other people and the worst in themselves and then wonder why they don’t measure up. And that creates self-doubt.
Past experiences or perhaps mistakes that we’ve made is another cause of self-doubt. Rather than understanding that mistakes are a part of life, you run this story loop in your mind that says, “I’ve failed before, so I don’t trust my abilities to not fail now”. And self-doubt is born.
Or it could be life experiences from childhood or past relationships where the people in your life didn’t believe or support you. You believe the story that they told you about yourself and that creates this inner voice of self-doubt. You don’t hear me speak strongly too often, but don’t listen to that inner voice of self-doubt that comes from other people. It’s a liar.
There are other things that cause self-doubt. But regardless they often really circle back to one thing, which is the voice in your head that tells you that you’re not good enough. That you’re not competent. That you’re not worthy. That voice that is made up of negative thoughts that are often not true and that we have sometimes exaggerated into being even bigger than they were to begin with. And my question for you today is, “why do you believe it? Why do you unquestionably believe that inner voice?”. Because the inner voice of self-doubt is a liar.
The truth is that you are good enough. You are competent. You are worthy. And you can learn to silence that negative inner voice. To doubt the doubt that is lying to you.
One important way is to learn to speak to yourself with kindness and empathy. To believe that you have the power to change the thoughts in your mind. To give yourself credit when you try something that takes courage. To recognize that even if you don’t achieve an outcome you hoped for, that you learned a lot about yourself in the process. To know that tomorrow is another opportunity to try again.
Feed your positive self-talk. I want to share an old Cherokee tale with you.
“One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.
One is Evil.
It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. (I’ll add self-doubt here)
The other is Good.
It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” (I’ll add self-love and confidence and belief here)
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
So, remember today to doubt the doubt, not yourself. Feed the truth that you are smart enough, competent enough, strong enough. That you are worthy and deserving because that is the real truth.
I hope that you are encouraged today to find your positive inner voice. And to listen to it.